I always joke that my kids’ favorite holiday is Father’s Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each of them a thank-you letter and a generous check. It’s my way of letting them know how much I appreciate the great pleasure and privilege of being their dad. I have eight children, with ages spanning more than 20 years. They have been powerful and important teachers in my life, always keeping me humble and grounded. Over the years, they have given some of my greatest material. If you have ever been to one of my speaking engagements, you’ve heard my stories about them and seen one or more of them on stage with me.
Poet and philosopher, Kahlil Gibran, said, “Your children are not your children….They come through you but not from you….though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Gibran advised looking at your children, divine beings that they are, with awe and wonder. You might strive to be like them, but Continue Reading
One of my greatest teachers was Dr. Abraham Maslow who wrote about highly functioning people—what he called self-actualizers. The number one quality of these people is that they are independent of the opinions of other people, particularly the good opinions of other people. I wrote a lot about approval seeking in my very first book, Your Erroneous Zones, 1976. But I didn’t always follow my own advice in those days. When I’d do an interview or appear on a talk show, I’d read the stories about me the next day. I’d look for reviews of my books and so on. Today, especially in the last four or five years, I feel like I’ve really and truly gotten into a place in my life where it just doesn’t make any difference. The reviews are something that I now have very little concern for.
I gave a speech in Las Vegas recently and I talked about the whole idea of living your life free of concern about outcome. If you can stop worrying about whether people are going to like it or not, what a freeing place to be in your life. You can learn to treat other people’s opinions, whether good or bad, exactly the same way. If someone tells you how wonderful you are, you can treat that exactly the same as if they tell you how awful you are. One of the places I practice this is on Amazon. They have book reviews and almost every day there’s a new review or two. One will have five stars and then another will have half a star and say—“he’s writing books because he’s just there to try and make money.” I know that’s coming from someone who has no idea why I write.
I write because writing is something that I have to do. And it doesn’t matter whether people like it or not. When I write, I feel the pressure Continue Reading
Throughout life you’ve been through a conditioning process that’s created a mind-set overflowing with I am nots. As a schoolchild with a less than satisfactory grade on your report card, you thought to yourself, I am not smart. You place anywhere other than number one and say, I am not talented. You feel criticized and believe that I am not good. You look in the mirror and compare yourself to a glamorous movie idol or homecoming queen and tell yourself, I am not attractive. Your relationship fractures and you think, I am unloved or I am unworthy. These, and many more like them, are repeated throughout your developmental years and into adulthood, and become your core defining self-concept.
Overcoming this I am not mentality begins with trusting your inner world of spirit. There are no boundaries restricting your inner world. But your worldview and your self-concept in the outer world are defined by your five senses. The outer world is always changing, which, by our definition, means it is not real. This awareness that what remains unchanging is the only reality could lead you to experiencing a majestic wake-up call right here, right now.
Run through as large an inventory as you can of the things that you would like to define your life. Then make the shift in your imagination from Continue Reading
Metaphysical teacher Neville Goddard offers us this description of what takes place while we sleep: Sleep is the door through which the conscious, waking mind passes to be creatively joined to the subconscious. Sleep conceals the creative act while the objective world reveals it. In sleep man impresses the subconscious with his conception of himself.
Each night as I drift off to sleep, I adamantly refuse to use this precious time to review anything that I do not want to be reinforced in the hours of being immersed in my subconscious mind. I choose to impress upon my subconscious mind, and therefore the mind of God to which I am eternally joined, my conception of myself as a Divine creator in alignment with the one mind. I groggily reiterate my I ams, which I have placed in my imagination, and I remember that my slumber will be dominated by my last waking concept of myself. I am peaceful, I am content, I am love, I am writing, I am the governing power of the universe, and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment with my highest ideals of myself.
This is my nightly ritual, always resisting any temptation to go over any fear or unpleasantness that my ego might be asking me to review. I assume the feeling in my body of those I am statements already fulfilled, Continue Reading
Your imagination is your own fertile field for growing any seedlings that you choose to plant for a future harvest.
You may have been told that you have always been a dreamer, as if this were a fault. I can speak here from experience. Family, friends, teachers, and even advisors frequently disparaged ideas that burned brightly in my imagination. I often heard comments such as, “Wayne, you’re such a dreamer. Get real. You are never going to make it as a writer, or a television performer, or a movie personality. Be realistic—we know what’s best for you.”
When I was being discharged from the Navy at the age of 22, my superiors warned me that starting college at my “advanced age” was loaded with uncertainty, particularly since I had no higher education experience, and I would be competing with younger recent high school graduates. Since I already had a skill as a cryptographer in the Navy, they advised me to pursue what they felt was best for me. But I had a dream—an imagination filled with the idea of teaching, writing, and speaking to large audiences. I saw myself onstage. I saw myself as a prominent author. And this vision could not and would not be sabotaged by someone else’s vision of what I should or could become.
As a young boy in a foster home, I almost always ignored other people’s ideas about what I should be thinking or doing—I simply was indifferent to their opinions regarding what I could imagine for myself. I have carried this kind of inner discipline regarding my own imagination with clarity, refusing to allow external opinions to cancel or diminish what for me was hallowed ground. Continue Reading
If you want to be a voice for peace in the world, begin by making peace a permanent condition of your own life. Your higher self knows the way, and all it takes is awareness and a determination to listen to the calling of love, forgiveness, and kindness as you move through your days. Here are a few ideas to think about:
You must offer peace to have it. Think of yourself as a peaceful person. Watch out for your ego’s inclination to take offense and ramp up confrontation and disturbance in the lives of others. Try saying, “You are really having a rough day,” to a harried clerk, rather than, “I’ve been waiting for fifteen minutes already.” Let your loving presence, not your ego, guide your words and actions.
Remember that grievances bring turmoil while communication brings peace. You can shed grievances by letting go of your own self-absorption and practicing forgiveness. If you are angry toward someone in your life, work at communicating with that person. A few moments of discussion and forgiveness can send the turmoil away and weaken the influence of your anxiety-loving ego.
Give yourself the gift of a silent retreat every day. Even if it is only for a few moments, experience this key to higher awareness. Shut down the inner dialogue and see the difference between the constant chatter and the bliss of your silent connection to the Universe. This is the surest way to ease control away from ego and move into the inner vision of peace that is your birthright.
Remind yourself that the greatest technique for bringing peace into your life is to always choose being kind when you have a choice between being right or being kind. This is the single most effective method I know for having a sense of peace. And you have that choice in all your interactions.
At such an important time in our world where many people are forced to recreate themselves and re-evaluate their priorities, internationally renowned author and speaker Dr. Wayne W. Dyer boldly tells people to stop making excuses and start living the life of their dreams.
In his 35th book, Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits (May 26, 2009), Dr. Dyer tells readers to ask themselves, “If no one told me who I was, who would I be?” By identifying 18 of the most common excuses and providing an accompanying affirmation, Dr. Dyer claims now is a time of immense opportunity to change life-long thinking patterns and access new levels of success and happiness. “The most common excuses I hear are: If I changed, it would create family dramas…I’m too old or too young…I’m far too busy and tired…I can’t afford the things I truly want… Continue Reading
Dr. Wayne Dyer’s transformational book, Excuses Begone!, is now available in trade paper!
Within the pages of this transformational book, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer reveals how to change the self-defeating thinking patterns that have prevented you from living at the highest levels of success, happiness, and health. Even though you may know what to think, actually changing those thinking habits that have been with you since childhood might be somewhat challenging.
If I changed, it would create family dramas . . .
I’m too old or too young . . .
I’m far too busy and tired . . .
I can’t afford the things I truly want . . .
It would be very difficult for me to do things differently . . .
and I’ve always been this way . . . may all seem to be true, but they’re in fact just excuses. So the business of modifying habituated thinking patterns really comes down to tossing out the same tired old excuses and examining your beliefs in a new and truthful light. Continue Reading
‘Tis the season when we really need a moment of silence. It’s also the season when we really have to work to make sure we get one. At a time we traditionally devote to loving, giving, and gratitude, the quiet and peace we need to appreciate our gifts seems all too elusive. Try to give yourself the gift of silence now and then during the holiday hubbub so you have a chance to really enjoy the experience of celebration. It’s when you merge into the silence and become one with it that you reconnect to your Source and know the peacefulness that is God. “Be still and know that I am God,” says the Old Testament. The key words are still and know. Mother Teresa described silence and its relationship to God by saying, “God is the friend of silence. See how nature—trees, grass, grow in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence…. We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness. Your sense of inner peace depends on spending some of your life energy in silence to recharge your battery, remove tension and anxiety, reacquaint you with the joy of knowing God, and feel closer to all of humanity. Going into the quiet and listening will heal and inspire you. In silence, you make your personal and conscious contact with God. As Melville reminded us, “God’s one and only voice is silence.”
May the voice of silence bring you peace this holiday season.
Doesn’t everyone dream at one time or another about just taking off, about hitting the road for an indefinite period simply to travel? Maybe your fantasy is about backpacking through the mountains, visiting new cities and countries, checking out new cultures, or simply wandering aimlessly like the bear who went over the mountain “to see what he could see.”
Think about how the wandering instinct manifests in your life. There are many ways you can wander, travel, or explore. You can do it on foot or in a scuba-diving outfit, through a microscope or a telescope, a history book or a natural-history magazine. You can do it in your own town, in the jungles of Africa, or on the surface of the moon. It can lead you to discover the lost city of Knossos or a great Hungarian restaurant in the next block.
Take a few minutes of every day to fantasize about how you would wander, travel, or explore if you could. If you find this hard to do because Continue Reading
I am often asked, “How do I know whether it is my ego or my higher spirit beckoning me at any given moment in life?” At any given moment, you are choosing between two pictures or evaluations of yourself. Your choices include the one offered by your soul, or higher self, which I think of as the voice of God, and the one offered by the ego, or your false idea of yourself. The answer to the question above is, “If it brings you a sense of peace, then it is your higher self at work.” Your higher self is always nudging you toward a resolution of the conflicts that you experience in your life, so that you will have room for serenity and harmony. If you are living with inner turmoil, continually quarreling with yourself and feeling anxious and fearful, then you are allowing ego to dominate your life.
In every moment, you have the option to choose peace for yourself. Your false self thrives on inner anxiety because that is what it thinks it needs to stay alive. Ego promotes thoughts like these: I cannot be happy or content; I must be a bad person; If I am feeling peaceful then I will simply vegetate; I must constantly look at how others are living and performing in order to assess my value. The ego wants you Continue Reading
You may have seen the magazine photos of me that were taken last year. I’m sitting on a sandy beach, white clouds drifting above, palm trees reaching skyward, a peaceful ocean stretching to the horizon. I’ve lived on the Hawaiian island of Maui for some years now—after more years of visiting on a regular basis. If you’ve ever experienced the serene beauty of Hawaii, you’ll know how it feels to look out across the water and breathe in the warm, fragrant air. I am beyond grateful for the natural beauty that surrounds me here, the ocean where I swim every day (often with a posse of sea turtles), the opportunity to walk in dense green forests that are alive with birds and bright with flowers. Fellow Hawaii resident and inspirational author Alan Cohen says friends sometimes ask why he would want to live so far from the mainland. He replies by glancing around at this tropical paradise and joking, “Have you had your head examined lately?”
Maybe a cluster of islands in the middle of a vast ocean isn’t for everyone, but we all have an idea of paradise. As Melville said, “In the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy.” Continue Reading