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Make Love Your Habit

On the recent Hay House Mediterranean cruise, “In the Wake of Our Spiritual Ancestors,” we visited historic sites of the ancient civilizations of Greece and Rome. One highlight of the trip was a stop at the ruins of Ephesus on the coast of Turkey, where I was scheduled to lecture. I’ll tell you about an experience I had there that illustrates the importance of our power to choose who we are.

That day in Ephesus there were many tourists in the area and, thus, a long line for the bathroom. Once inside I saw that there was a man handing out little pieces of paper to the people after they washed their hands. My first thought was an immediate throwback to a younger version of myself. “What is this guy doing in this toilet and is he expecting me to give him a tip? I don’t want to have to give someone a tip for just going to the bathroom. I just had to pee. I don’t think I should have to pay for that. I don’t want to have to deal with this. I don’t want to have to look at him. Here’s someone who’s trying to take advantage of me. He wants a coin. I don’t have any coins.” These thoughts flew into my head spontaneously. I took the piece of paper and walked out.

I got about ten feet away and then realized what I had done. “Oh my God, who knows what this man’s story is? He has decided to go into a toilet where tourists come and go all day long. (You can’t imagine what it smelled like in there.) “And he stands there all day just handing out little pieces of paper perhaps to earn money to feed his family. Who knows what’s going on in his life? And here I am judging him.”

Thoughts born of anger, judgment and fear are habitual memes that fill our heads if we let them. Where they came from doesn’t matter. What matters is that we recognize them. There was a time when, after thinking those habitual thoughts, I would correct them and say to myself, “the next time that happens….” But now what I did was take immediate action. I went back into the bathroom. I had a 20 euro note. I reached out and put it into the man’s hand. “God bless you,” I said. “It’s really thoughtful of you to just hand me a piece of paper after I washed my hands.”

This is the healing power of divine love as we open ourselves to it. We’ve all developed mental habits of fear, judgment, getting angry at people for no reason, and feeling threatened. With the working out of divine love, we start seeing these habits for what they are; then we start correcting our thoughts. Finally, we start acting on the corrections. We begin to see the unfolding of God in everyone.

I slipped that day in Ephesus. The rest of that trip, when I saw people like the man I met, I had more and more of an outpouring of love. I started giving away coins to remind myself how blessed I am to even have a toilet let alone to have someone inside handing me paper. That’s the shift. You decide you are a being of divine love and every time you have a thought that is not consistent with that assessment of who you are, you correct the thought and then you go back and correct the action.

A habit is a habit until you become aware of it. Ask yourself, “Is this how I choose to react to people who are asking me for help?” Choose love over fear until it becomes your habit.

“In the poor, we find Jesus in his most distressing disguises.” –Mother Teresa

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Joseph Wadas says:

Thank you for your honesty and openness in sharing with us. Life is a journey back to our Source. We spend a lifetime trying to recognize Him within us; if we are successful at the end of our lives, others can look at us and recognize that Source within us. I wish you continued peace. Namaste!!

zdravka stoikova says:

Hi Wayne,
I listen to your CDs every single day- applying your wisdom makes me a better person than I used to be:more tolerant towards the world around me,very patient,kind,helpful,very grateful for the abundance in my life,for realising that God is within me and walks along with me every day.

zdravka stoikova says:

Hi Wayne,

I wish I could speak with you and find the best solution for my dilemma.I don’t expect anybody to make decisions for me but perhaps seeing the situation from another individual’s perspective can trigger this” instant awakening” and clear my thoughts and reaction towards the situation.dimitrova@yahoo.co.uk

Mike says:

A lot of people mistake divine love for natural love and the only true way to break a habit it to get to the core casual emotional issue that created it in the first place. Heal the cause and the effects go away for good. Read James E Padgett books (1914-1923) The Padgett Messages for better understanding, Jesus came to him and gave him messages.

Dennis says:

If love didn’t already exist, positive thinking would have nowhere to take you.

Dennis says:

Lauren, you may be interested in Larry Crane’s Release Technique. Many people are in to “positive thinking,” but never seem to get what they want. It’s the negative, limiting beliefs that stand in the way and must be cleared-out before the positive (love) can manifest unopposed.

Lauren says:

Hi Wayne:

I happened to overhear some of the PBS program while I was working in the next room. I do not agree that love is superior to positive thinking. I have always believed that positive thinking is love. I actually prefer the term affirmation as an approach to the totality of our existence.

Praful says:

Namaste Wayne,

I wish to talk to you. I have some strange incidents in my married life which I would like to discuss with you. Incidents which are spoiling our relation badly. Please can you help me.

Beril says:

I’m from Turkey but live in New Jersey last 15 years.AH meditations changed our life. What you mentioned in your blog, very common practice in Turkey.Usually, people give money for this service so that person keep the place clean.Probably, my husband thinks as you did, but end of the day our hearts remind us the right action. Thank you.

Praful says:

I recently came across of your videos on you tube and it has become guide for me. I am very much inspired by the though process you are sharing to the mankind. I am happy to share smile.

Thanks Wayne.

Cloris says:

I could not agree more. Habits are repeated behaviors, and by breaking the behavior, we break the habit. As much as I work on keeping my connection to God strong every day, I slip. But when I slip, I quickly become aware that my ego is taking a hold of me, and by being aware, I’m already taming my ego.

rick@journey2source.com says:

These are the type of habits which enrich our lives and the lives of others on so many levels.


Rose says:

Hello Mr.Dyer.I’m so grateful for all you have brought into my life,and my sisters as well.When one of us buys one of your books,we get each other one too.There are no words to tell you the effect your words have had in our lives.Thank you from the bottom of my heart .God Bless You.

zdravka says:

Wayne, I listen to you every day.Love you!!

Andrea says:

Dear Wayne, I love you is the first thing I have tell you. The older I get it seems even more important to practice good habits. I became a mayor of our small community, I have a chance to practice intensively all of the wisdom I used to talk about and show new ways to people. I am from Czech Republic, a country in the heart of Europe.Thank you.

clare says:

Being love is the hardest thing in the world for me right now but striving to be just that is so comforting. My only child is a drug addict and whilst I am working away in remote Western Australia he stole what I hold dear as inheritance pieces from my grandparents to fuel his habit. Somehow being love and sending him love keeps me in hope.

Gracie says:

I am practicing being LOVE all the time and when I backslide into doing something not consistent with LOVE, I get so hard on myself. Now after reading this, I realize it is okay to slip up. You only need to correct your mistake. Thank you for sharing.

Cindy says:

Thank you Wayne! You are such an inspiration to me, and sometimes just taking the time to smile at someone can change their mood. This level of awareness helps me to really see how we are all connected, and how judgement of anyone should be consistantly avoided.

Dennis says:

Hi Sandra. And Thank You for your comments.

Deborah says:

This was such a great posting for me. I thought that the fact that I sometimes fall back on old thought patterns meant that I wasn’t making progress. Now I know that’s not the case at all! What a big relief! My journey continues..with the help of a very wise man who is willing to share so openly with so many. Thank you Wayne.

Paula says:

Your story is so true. When I start to judge a person or situation, I remember judge not least ye be judged. It helps me remember it is not my place to judge. Thank you Mr. Dyer. I have been reading and following your advice for many years beginning with The Power of intention. I continue today. Hope to meet you one day. Thank you,Paula

sand says:

Wayne, thank you for the understanding of the transformation – living from Love, and knowing it as it occurs, you are Love always. I related this story to my wife today after you spoke in NYC. Yes, how important it is to stay focused in Love. Your Enlightend Spirit, Soul, Source

Enjoy the Sand Dollar…

Sandra says:

In reply to Dennis’ comment: life is happening through the individualized Self and there is no question about this – only acceptance is necessary……then life is allowed to flow with no inner resistance to what is. Sandra Rajpaul

Sandra says:

The difference between a jnani(wisdom) and an ordinary man is that the jnani may experience anger in a moment but he does not drag it along in time with him; he does not create an identity with it and therefore creates no mental noise about it. He recognizes his anger and goes beyond it. – Sandra Rajpaul

sandra says:

Love you Wayne, Divine Love flows through us all, and “habit” increases the flow. What if we let our Egos rest a moment and went before “Form” and realized wisdom from within, that our THOUGHTS are the Creator, literally? The 3 Principles, Divine Mind, Divine Consciousness and Divine Thought.

Katie says:

I believe this. I love this. Thank you, Dr. Wayne Dyer. I will shake your hand one day. Please read my blog. http://katieshearman.blog.com/2013/02/14/i-give-you-love/ and like my page on FaceBook http://www.facebook.com/LeadWithTheSpirit

dp says:

…because the greatest is LOVE

Joao Pedro says:

Hello Wayne, what you have done is remarkable, if you consider the crisis in Europe and the major lay off with people with no jobs and no food on the table, this is exactly what is going by in Greece, can you imagine the impact! That man for sure was in desperate to get such a tip as the one that you gave him. God bless you.

Dennis says:

What the ego finds difficult to grasp – or even admit – is that Wills may fit together as perfectly as does the physical universe. Not for the ego’s small purpose, but the real Self’s greater one.

Siem says:

My life over the past 6 years has been as primary caregiver for my wife who was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. Love is the only thing that has kept me going and made this journey possible.

James says:

Thanks Wayne! Happy Birthday to Me!

Dennis says:

Seems like, “Is Life being done TO you, or THROUGH you?” is always the question.