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Resolve to Get Real

Dear Friends,

Forget about those New Year’s resolutions in which you decide on the first day of January how you will be conducting your life in September, some nine months later. Here’s why: any resolution that involves you making decisions about long-range upcoming behavior reinforces the self-defeating notion of living in the future rather than in the present moment. In fact, you can go about resolving until the cows come home, and you still have to live your life just like everyone else on this planet—ONE DAY AT A TIME. The important questions to be asking yourself are “How am I going to use my present moments this year?” and “Will I waste them in reviewing to myself how I used to behave, or how I would like to behave in the future, rather than resolving to live each day to the fullest?

What you can do is set up day-to-day goals for yourself, and then resolve to begin living with present moment awareness for the rest of your life. For example, instead of deciding you are going to give up sugar for a year, resolve to go one day without eating sugar. Anyone can do virtually anything if it is for only one day. When you go for one whole day without eating sugar (or any other new behavior), you are a totally different person at the end of that day. Learn to let that totally different person decide on the second day whether he or she wants to do it again on this new day, rather than letting the same old person decide that it is only going to be difficult in a couple of days anyhow, “so what’s the use.” Always let the new you make the decision, and then you’ll be living your present moments.

You know how easy it is to give up on a resolution, and you may have attributed this to some character flaw or personality weakness. Not so! You give up on your resolutions because your mind resists the notion of trying to live your life in long stretches, when it is patently impossible to do so. It is simply a matter of asking yourself at the beginning of the day, “How do I want to conduct my life today?” Then very directly begin to carry out your goals for the day. When you get good at living your present moments one day at a time, you’ll see yourself changing right before your own surprised eyes. Remember, anyone can do anything for just one day, so tune out the sentences that keep you locked into your old self-defeating ways and begin to enjoy each day of your bright new year.

Love,

I AM, Wayne

 

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Comments

Jill says:

Just wanted to say thanks so much for the CD ‘I AM.’ I have never been able to meditate before, always wanted to.. but somehow could not sit through the session. Listening to your CD was excellent, I felt peaceful yet energized. As you said in the first section ” I am hooked”.
Many thanks for this wonderful CD and its music.

Shelley says:

This is the premise of Alcoholics Anonymous and it’s why it works when nothing else seems to.

Carmen says:

Thank you Dr. Your tips are very interesting, so I will continue apply them day after day.
Have agreat year and God bless you 🙂
Carmen

Geri says:

Yes, I believe it is impossible to live appreciating every day as if it were a miracle without living in that day itself….and life becomes so much more fuller for having appreciated every moment vs. skipping to “nine months down the road.” Things, then, that were once hollow intentions become gifts beside us…makes for a happy day! (:

donna says:

I find myself wandering – looking for help. Went to see someone Monday but just was not the right guidance person for me. After reading – i believe wayne dyer may be the person to help me.

Shannon Beltz Mayhew says:

This is such helpful wisdom for those of us who like the energy of big changes… we do tend to set ourselves up for disappointment when we live from a place of expectation. I love the simplicity and the power of this day-to-day focus that you suggest. Thank you for sharing this tool, and for everything you do to inspire and uplift others!

Cody says:

Excellent advice Dr.Wayne. I never thought of it this way. You are 100% correct. Constant improvement every day, when possible.

Tammi says:

I have found ‘one day at a time’ to be the best strategy. We aren’t promised tomorrow.
As I write this, we are at your wonderful island of Maui. We have chosen, while here, to enjoy the gifts that each day brings. The trick is to have the same attitude when go home, that is up to us.