Wayne’s BlogView all

Whose Opinion Matters?

I have observed that society in general always seems to honor its living conformists and its dead troublemakers. All those who have ever made a difference in any profession have listened to the inner music they heard and proceeded independent of the opinions of others. That was certainly true of one of my favorite nonconformists, Henry David Thoreau, who walked to the beat of a different drum and followed the beliefs of his conscience. He knew that the beat you hear within yourself is your connection to your soul’s purpose.

My own eight children all march to the beat of their inner music, and in some cases it is definitely far away from what I hear. I’ve had to honor their instincts and their choices, and merely guided them out of harm’s way until they could be their own guides. I have always marched to my own beat, and most frequently it was inconsistent not only with my own immediate family, but with my culture as well. I could never find it in my heart to preach to my listeners to do it my way, when I’ve always pretty much ignored what was being preached to me.

An important teacher of mine, Abraham Maslow, always counseled that it was necessary for the self-actualized individual to be “independent of the good opinion of others.” Walk with Thoreau in your own mind. Listen to the voice you hear, and the drumbeat only you can feel, and honor it, while honoring it in those you love as well. It is the ultimate act of unconditional love. In being true to your inner calling, you may ruffle some feathers but you’ll have the peace and satisfaction of knowing that you fulfilled your divine purpose and encouraged others to do the same. Another brilliant nonconformist, Dr. Seuss, is credited with saying, “Be what you are and say what you feel, because those who will mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Topics: , , , ,


francesca says:

Thanks Dr. Dyer, you are really helping me a lot.

Vernon says:

Dr. Dyer, I appreciate your encouragement regarding the gift of hearing your own music and respecting that gift in others.

Vicky says:

so needed to read this today… I have been telling my children for years – “fly your own flag”… which basically means the same thing as marching to the beat of your own drum.

nutsy says:

Hi Wayne and thanks for your beautiful words of wisdom. they have helped me grow so much as a person.

Jim Haley says:

Hi Wayne,
Keep telling me. I always need to know. Thanks for all you continue to do.

Anita says:

In fact, no one’s opinion matters if we recognize that we are all the same spiritiual beings and have been originated from one spirit (God). When I was younger, I used to write to God for hours during my quite times, now I understand that I was writing to my heart (spirit).

Valerie Curcuro, Life Coach says:

“the beat you hear within yourself is the connection to your soul’s purpose” so right and yet so challenging to follow because it brings up all our inner fears; abandonment, ridicule and their friend rejection. But with the first tentative step of faith a new companion arrives, courage.

emily says:

Perfection for today – precisely what I needed, when I needed it. Thank you.

Mucunda says:

The name is authenticity It is a bad traducitiom sorry

Mucunda says:

I go dancing my life from pink to yellow
At the rhythm of my internal cymbals
That marks the metric witch get me
To the muse of my soul.
It is my real way

AnaMaria says:


Adin says:

Dear Dr. Dyer,

I find that in order to access my inner music, I need to set aside amounts of quiet time (meditation,sleep, stretching to name a few) relative to the amount of mental and physical load I am faced with.

Do you find that this is true for yourself?

Mordecia Ali Van Allen Oshea says:

this stuff is 98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed….we can move mountains…thanks wayne

Andria says:

Just before I got online today to see what your blog said, I was talking to my friend and telling her that I don’t want to care about what other people think about me anymore. And then, TA-DA!, here’s your blogpost telling me to do it. Thank you for your help. I really admire the work you do.