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The Beat of a Different Drum

7/21/09 at 4:00 pm | 28 Comments   by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Henry David Thoreau said, “If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.” Not only is this great advice for dealing gently with what other people want to do, say, or think, but these words are also about our own self-reliance. Be sure you’re stepping to the music you hear—no matter what other people think. My understanding of the13th verse of the Tao Te Ching is this: it’s crucial to remain independent of both the positive and negative opinions of other people. If you gain their approval, you’ll become a slave to outside words of praise. If you gain disfavor, you’ll spend your life trying to change other people’s minds about you. Either way, you lose your selfhood. If you want to follow your passion, be independent of the good opinion of others. Give yourself permission to two-step, march, waltz, or boogie to your own beat.

 

Namaste,

Wayne

FILED UNDER: wayne dyer, tao te ching, self-esteem, career, inspiration, spirituality

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Comments (28)

  • 1.
    July 21, 2009
    11:43 pm

    This must be synchronicity. This reading is so life changing. I owe Wayne a debt that can never be repaid. It is much to large. I will refer to this like I refer to his other teachings all so often. It is so obvious to me that Wayne is so authentic. I know he must be rich, yet for years and years he still marches to his inner calling.

    - Rusty Hays
  • 2.
    July 22, 2009
    6:07 am

    Hola Wayne quer­a agradecerte porque gracias a "Tus zonas errneas" aprend­ mucho acerca de mí y de como conduc­a mi vida, realmente ese libro fue un punto aparte a todo mi sufrimiento interior y una apertura hacia el Ãxito que desde entonces celebro, gracias por todo. Un abrazo desde Per.

    - Víctor Reyna M.
  • 3.
    July 22, 2009
    10:15 am

    the simplest pieces of wisdom make the most difference in day to day life

    - Jen Houghton
  • 4.
    July 22, 2009
    11:56 pm

    Wow, this is an awesome post! - I really like the instances when you write about following your own beat...I think the words are even more invigorating b/c you've lived it. Personally, I prefer to boogie to my own beat, lol.

    - Emmanuel S.
  • 5.
    July 23, 2009
    9:24 am

    I get it - people's approval of me is as destructive to my "self" esteem as criticism. The 12-step work and therapy have not 'fixed' the hole in my soul from a childhood of neglect, only self-parenting works. Yoga helps - I get still, and feel my feelings. Thank you for your loving presence in my life. I think of you as my spiritual father.

    - Gwen Goldsmith in Albuquerque
  • 6.
    July 23, 2009
    10:09 am

    I love you Dr. Dyer. Your wisdom has saved my life in every way. Thank you for restoring my faith in all things. You are a blessing to my soul.

    - Dawn
  • 7.
    July 23, 2009
    1:05 pm

    What a great post. Truly the music which we hear is that still small voice that urges us to rid ourself from captivity by turning back to the source and holding fast to the iron Rod.

    - Adam
  • 8.
    July 23, 2009
    6:56 pm

    Awesome! Thank you!

    - BRENDA
  • 9.
    July 23, 2009
    9:02 pm

    I Read To The Beat Of A Different drum, the book outshone all of the other writers in this field and now I have just received the book EXCUSES BEGONE and the audio as a present from my brother. Both books are awesome and become more and more so as you add more of your experience and research. Give me more.

    - Lloyd Crowder Shrewsbury Pa
  • 10.
    July 24, 2009
    5:01 am

    What a great post, and wonderful wisdom. I often remind myself to remain independent of the good opinions of others, thanks to you!

    - Megan
  • 11.
    July 25, 2009
    2:45 pm

    Well, not surprisingly, Thoreau comes at such an opportune time. What a month to remember; the cruise, Alaska, the PEOPLE! I truly CAN DO IT !!! Alaska & HayHouse will ALWAYS be an awesome memory. Trusting and feeling my books return, THEY ARE!! Slowly, one by one they returneth! Bless you for prodding the masses to be more. Peace and JOY!

    - Joanne Chemin Tacoma, WA
  • 12.
    July 26, 2009
    8:24 am

    Like so many, I have followed Dr. Dyer's work for years w/ excellent results. It's power continues to evolve. The ideas of effortlessness, freedom, love and trust. The reality that we can achieve, BE ourselves and BE happy, productive and loving - without sacrifice, pain or compromise - is wholly life changing. Thanks for always reminding us.

    - Scott
  • 13.
    July 27, 2009
    2:22 am

    This post actually saved my day.

    - Henna
  • 14.
    July 27, 2009
    3:47 pm

    With out you I would be lost in a sea of darkness! Your post has made me feel so good about myself! It has changed my life forever! You are like the light that guides me!

    - Trish Smith
  • 15.
    July 27, 2009
    3:53 pm

    Whenever I think that life is not worth living, I open your book "Your Erroneous Zones" or I read your daily blog I realize that life is like a song! Its notes interweaving to make an intricate pattern of ups and downs. You make my life like a beautiful melody! You are my one and only hero! Yours Truly

    - Missy Goldberg
  • 16.
    July 27, 2009
    4:08 pm

    Dr. Wayne... What a beautiful name You set my heart aflame Your voice like a soothing song So confident, so strong Your words like road to happiness You are the essence of attractiveness Let your name be proclaimed Ever sounding in our hearts... Dr. Wayne, Dr. Wayne, Dr. Wayne...........

    - Safira Goddfreey
  • 17.
    July 27, 2009
    4:17 pm

    I slightly understand what it means to be a good parent, with half-way decent children. I got my "techniques" per say from your book, "Your Erroneous Zones", and I also noticed that this book wasn't listed on this blog, and I wondered why, it is such an amazing book!

    - A. Chobie
  • 18.
    July 27, 2009
    4:22 pm

    doctor Wayne i think that your book was absolutely fabulous!! you have changed the way i look at life you make me feel like i actually know something in life thank you!! Thank you so much for changing my life sincerely

    - Mr. lenord peemont
  • 19.
    July 27, 2009
    8:46 pm

    Dr Dyer, It's all about selfhood. How much of ourselves do we surrender or compromise just to earn the "approval" of others? This is the underlying cause of so many problems we face in the world. Selfhood is self respect. We all have the responsibility to respect ourselves and to encourage others to do the same.

    - Peter Mis
  • 20.
    July 28, 2009
    1:41 am

    Thank you for this priceless reminder. You & I spoke on QVC on 6.15.09 & it has changed my life forever!! I've taken the pearls of wisdom you gave me on this day & apply them as a daily medical prescription. I have removed the burden of my shortage mentality & replaced it w/ gratitude for God's abundance. With LUV & deep gratitude.

    - Lizette,CA
  • 21.
    July 28, 2009
    4:31 pm

    Please accept my heartfelt thanks for being the inspiration for meaningful change...not once, but twice in my life!

    - Patrice
  • 22.
    July 29, 2009
    7:16 pm

    Fort Independence is one of the ego's strongholds. Once conquered through catapulting the ego into the 'sands of time', the true meaning of freedom is achieved. For as long as the ego has no visiting rights and postcards from it are 'returned to sender, address unknown', the freedom will be permanent.

    - Alina
  • 23.
    July 30, 2009
    9:49 am

    I am searching for the research on the shift in life values by men and women in mid-life you mention in the movie The Shift for a literature review I am writing on burnout and peak performance in educational organizations. I would greatly appreciate, if you could give me the reference to that study. Mahalo.

    - bradford
  • 24.
    July 30, 2009
    11:13 pm

    Great post Dr. Dyer! I have been reading your work for years and you have inspired me many times. I have been drumming to a different beat all my life it seems; now I have accepted this and am proud of the fact. Always drumming to my own true beat.

    - Nicole Rousselle
  • 25.
    August 2, 2009
    9:17 am

    As a public school teacher I found out a long time ago that no matter what you can't please all. I think our new President is going through the same thing. I blog in support of him. I appreciate your words Dr. Dyer. I do use your teachings with the children I teach and do "Meditations for Manifesting" every day. I see progress in my life.

    - Lynn
  • 26.
    August 16, 2009
    5:00 pm

    God made me. The only one that I try to get his approval is from him. By living in a humble way, helping other and being kind I feel connected to God. I perceive a feeling of approval by choosing to do what's right. My calling is to serve God. His approval is all I need. The world needs more Dr. Dyer's. Thank you; T.T.M. Armando

    - ARMANDO
  • 27.
    August 16, 2009
    5:15 pm

    It would be wonderful for high school, college students and my patients to be exposed to your teachings. Consider translating to Spanish. Thank you for The Power of Intentions. Lao tzu's teachings has become a must read before going to bed. I saw today through PBS Excuses BE Gone. Please do not retire!!!!! T.T.M. Armando

    - ARMANDO
  • 28.
    December 21, 2009
    12:11 pm

    It's the holidays and one of my favorite Christmas carols is "Little Drummer Boy!" This post me think about your friend, Dan Caro he is basically the epitome of this post- he inspires me! I thank God for the both of you. I will follow my own drum beat and "not die with the music still in me."

    - Sherry Blackwell, New Jersey