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The Beat of a Different Drum

Henry David Thoreau said, “If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.” Not only is this great advice for dealing gently with what other people want to do, say, or think, but these words are also about our own self-reliance. Be sure you’re stepping to the music you hear—no matter what other people think. My understanding of the13th verse of the Tao Te Ching is this: it’s crucial to remain independent of both the positive and negative opinions of other people. If you gain their approval, you’ll become a slave to outside words of praise. If you gain disfavor, you’ll spend your life trying to change other people’s minds about you. Either way, you lose your selfhood. If you want to follow your passion, be independent of the good opinion of others. Give yourself permission to two-step, march, waltz, or boogie to your own beat.




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Sherry Blackwell, New Jersey says:

It’s the holidays and one of my favorite Christmas carols is “Little Drummer Boy!” This post me think about your friend, Dan Caro he is basically the epitome of this post- he inspires me! I thank God for the both of you. I will follow my own drum beat and “not die with the music still in me.”


It would be wonderful for high school, college students and my patients to be exposed to your teachings. Consider translating to Spanish. Thank you for The Power of Intentions. Lao tzu’s teachings has become a must read before going to bed. I saw today through PBS Excuses BE Gone. Please do not retire!!!!!




God made me. The only one that I try to get his approval is from him. By living in a humble way, helping other and being kind I feel connected to God. I perceive a feeling of approval by choosing to do what’s right. My calling is to serve God. His approval is all I need. The world needs more Dr. Dyer’s.
Thank you;

Lynn says:

As a public school teacher I found out a long time ago that no matter what you can’t please all. I think our new President is going through the same thing. I blog in support of him. I appreciate your words Dr. Dyer. I do use your teachings with the children I teach and do “Meditations for Manifesting” every day. I see progress in my life.

Nicole Rousselle says:

Great post Dr. Dyer! I have been reading your work for years and you have inspired me many times. I have been drumming to a different beat all my life it seems; now I have accepted this and am proud of the fact. Always drumming to my own true beat.

bradford says:

I am searching for the research on the shift in life values by men and women in mid-life you mention in the movie The Shift for a literature review I am writing on burnout and peak performance in educational organizations. I would greatly appreciate, if you could give me the reference to that study. Mahalo.

Alina says:

Fort Independence is one of the ego’s strongholds. Once conquered through catapulting the ego into the ‘sands of time’, the true meaning of freedom is achieved. For as long as the ego has no visiting rights and postcards from it are ‘returned to sender, address unknown’, the freedom will be permanent.

Patrice says:

Please accept my heartfelt thanks for being the inspiration for meaningful change…not once, but twice in my life!

Lizette,CA says:

Thank you for this priceless reminder. You & I spoke on QVC on 6.15.09 & it has changed my life forever!! I’ve taken the pearls of wisdom you gave me on this day & apply them as a daily medical prescription. I have removed the burden of my shortage mentality & replaced it w/ gratitude for God’s abundance. With LUV & deep gratitude.

Peter Mis says:

Dr Dyer,
It’s all about selfhood. How much of ourselves do we surrender or compromise just to earn the “approval” of others? This is the underlying cause of so many problems we face in the world. Selfhood is self respect. We all have the responsibility to respect ourselves and to encourage others to do the same.

Mr. lenord peemont says:

doctor Wayne i think that your book was absolutely fabulous!! you have changed the way i look at life you make me feel like i actually know something in life thank you!! Thank you so much for changing my life


A. Chobie says:

I slightly understand what it means to be a good parent, with half-way decent children. I got my “techniques” per say from your book, “Your Erroneous Zones”, and I also noticed that this book wasn’t listed on this blog, and I wondered why, it is such an amazing book!

Safira Goddfreey says:

Dr. Wayne… What a beautiful name
You set my heart aflame
Your voice like a soothing song
So confident, so strong
Your words like road to happiness
You are the essence of attractiveness
Let your name be proclaimed
Ever sounding in our hearts…
Dr. Wayne, Dr. Wayne, Dr. Wayne………..

Missy Goldberg says:

Whenever I think that life is not worth living, I open your book “Your Erroneous Zones” or I read your daily blog I realize that life is like a song! Its notes interweaving to make an intricate pattern of ups and downs. You make my life like a beautiful melody! You are my one and only hero!

Yours Truly

Trish Smith says:

With out you I would be lost in a sea of darkness! Your post has made me feel so good about myself! It has changed my life forever! You are like the light that guides me!

Henna says:

This post actually saved my day.

Scott says:

Like so many, I have followed Dr. Dyer’s work for years w/ excellent results. It’s power continues to evolve. The ideas of effortlessness, freedom, love and trust. The reality that we can achieve, BE ourselves and BE happy, productive and loving – without sacrifice, pain or compromise – is wholly life changing. Thanks for always reminding us.

Joanne Chemin Tacoma, WA says:

Well, not surprisingly, Thoreau comes at such an opportune time. What a month to remember; the cruise, Alaska, the PEOPLE! I truly CAN DO IT !!! Alaska & HayHouse will ALWAYS be an awesome memory. Trusting and feeling my books return, THEY ARE!! Slowly, one by one they returneth! Bless you for prodding the masses to be more. Peace and JOY!

Megan says:

What a great post, and wonderful wisdom. I often remind myself to remain independent of the good opinions of others, thanks to you!

Lloyd Crowder Shrewsbury Pa says:

I Read To The Beat Of A Different drum, the book outshone all of the other writers in this field and now I have just received the book EXCUSES BEGONE and the audio as a present from my brother.
Both books are awesome and become more and more so as you add more of your experience and research.
Give me more.

BRENDA says:

Awesome! Thank you!

Adam says:

What a great post. Truly the music which we hear is that still small voice that urges us to rid ourself from captivity by turning back to the source and holding fast to the iron Rod.

Dawn says:

I love you Dr. Dyer. Your wisdom has saved my life in every way. Thank you for restoring my faith in all things. You are a blessing to my soul.

Gwen Goldsmith in Albuquerque says:

I get it – people’s approval of me is as destructive to my “self” esteem as criticism. The 12-step work and therapy have not ‘fixed’ the hole in my soul from a childhood of neglect, only self-parenting works. Yoga helps – I get still, and feel my feelings. Thank you for your loving presence in my life. I think of you as my spiritual father.

Emmanuel S. says:

Wow, this is an awesome post! – I really like the instances when you write about following your own beat…I think the words are even more invigorating b/c you’ve lived it. Personally, I prefer to boogie to my own beat, lol.

Jen Houghton says:

the simplest pieces of wisdom make the most difference in day to day life

Víctor Reyna M. says:

Hola Wayne quer­a agradecerte porque gracias a “Tus zonas errneas” aprend­ mucho acerca de mí y de como conduc­a mi vida, realmente ese libro fue un punto aparte a todo mi sufrimiento interior y una apertura hacia el Ãxito que desde entonces celebro, gracias por todo.
Un abrazo desde Per.

Rusty Hays says:

This must be synchronicity. This reading is so life changing. I owe Wayne a debt that can never be repaid. It is much to large. I will refer to this like I refer to his other teachings all so often. It is so obvious to me that Wayne is so authentic. I know he must be rich, yet for years and years he still marches to his inner calling.