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You Can’t Please All the People

“Isn’t it hard to follow the Tao and try to be independent of the good opinion of others?” people ask. Actually, it’s much harder to struggle with either seeking approval or trying to shake off disapproval. If everything you do must be measured against the good opinion of everyone else, what happens to your good opinion of yourself? Who’s looking out for the soul that is your connection to the Divine? You have to decide what your passion, your bliss, is calling you to do. When you’re following that call, your feelings of joy, contentment, and peace will be strong enough to keep you from worrying about pleasing all the people all the time—as if that is even possible. For example, after a seminar not long ago, I received a letter from an audience member who told me the workshop “did not live up to her expectations.” An audience of a thousand people will probably have a thousand different sets of expectations. How could I possibly meet completely all of those varied and intimate and unique sets of expectations? I have to dance to the music I hear and I invite you to do the same. Honor the Divine within you by going to a quiet place this week and tuning in to the sacred melody.




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Peggy says:

Just learned today of your divorce, I was divorcing at the same time after 20 years as well, and 2 bouts of ovarian cancer. Your book, Power of Intention, brought me through it all. Go back to it now for your present healing. Your words speak the truth that only those who have been there can understand.

Hazel says:

Oh, and by the way..I e-mailed him back, said I was sorry he felt he had to read it..No he didn’t…there is a delete button…Then I signed out with this note “God Loves you”

Hazel says:

This is so true, I received an e-mail from 3 out of 75 spiritual e-mails that I love to share, asking to stop sending him that “hokey- pokey” stuff, It really hurt me at first, but then I just knew that the other positive responses made it a wonderful blessing..let no one still your Joy.

Marna says:

I always thought that others opinions of you are what build our self esteem, But I can now see that you need to build that with in yourself by yourself for yourself. Thank you. My life will be much simpler if I can live by this.

David says:

I just started a website and have been having doubts about who will and who won’t like it. Thank you for this valuable advice. I can’t keep worrying about everyone else’s validation if I am going to succeed and be happy with it.

Willow Bernarde says:

I live in a world full of darkness where you are the only light. Your books have inspired me to do my best each and every waking hour. You have inspired to go farther in life than ever before… You are my hero, you are the wind beneath my wings, you are my inspirational hero!!!!

Lori says:

After I saw you on TV I was inspired. I just started a new job at at place where I have been working for over 15 years. Even though I have been there over 15 years I was still nervous about my new postition. Now I realize that I can’t please everyone, I just have to do my job to the best of my ability and hope for the best. Thank you again….

Doris woodruff says:

Question. What is the difference between living with compassion and being the proverbial doormat?

Fisseha says:


Your book, “EXCUSES BEGONE!”, set me free. My journey back to home–from ego to spirit–has begun. Thank you for lighting the spiritual flame that had been extinguished by ego. This light is now leading me back home. It is the greatest good feeling ever!

Mona (Bear) says:

I am so glad for watching your seminar on PBS this am. Not only are you a copy of a man I used to date long time ago, but most of all a great inspirational stepping stone. I am so grateful that I am able to listen and take action toward being what I want to be. Bear hugs and have an awesome day.

Sherrie says:

Thank you for this wonderful wisdom. It took me close to ½ of a century to grasp and live this simple, yet profound concept. Change is the only constant in life. I finally learned to trust the divine guidance, embrace uncertainties, and turned whatever it is that I am seeking for inwards rather than outwards. Life is so much better and happier.

Gwen Goldsmith in Albuquerque says:

Growing up, I complained to mom that I was bored. She’d say, “Only boring people are bored.” Your critic needed to participate, contribute to her own experience. Thanks for blogging. Love from your spiritual daughter.

Irene Trube says:

Loved your PBS program Excuses BeGone. All is so true. The only thing I have left that really stops me is severe food allergies. I bring my own water or food when visiting but for vacations, it is a nightmare…one wrong food and that anaphalactic shock does me in. Thanks so much for all you do.

Tony Bevilacqua says:

Wow ! After my encounter with Excuses Begone my mind was blown away , and now that everything is fallen back in place , Thank YOU !!! Thank YOU.
P.s Ever coming to South Africa again?

Alina says:

The divine melody is to service others in all possible ways. What creates this melody is “silence between the notes” as you point out, and silence is the voice of God. To hear it, we need to be plugged in. By praying “thank you” every morning, I make sure the plug is in. Namaste – Alina

Donna says:

I found not worring about what others may feel about me, gets me not only off the hook, to become what everyone eles may think I should be. It helps me to focus on what my needs are for my personal growth. Yes, and to hear you say this helps me to continue this in my life.

Soren says:

that sounds so familiar. I hope you follow your voice, maybe it feels unlistened to? Simply listening to it, and giving it time and attention may do wonders. Seems like you have your own best friend inside.

John says:

I think of myself as independent, yet I feel the need for ego satisfaction. Not material things, but financial assets. Or being good at something. Golf, acting, singing, what ever I am doing. I strive for financial independence so I don’t have to answer to anyone. If I didn’t strive for things, I’m not sure what my purpose would be.

Ximena says:

Thank you Mr. Dyer, you are an angel in my life. I am better person than yesterday because I try every day to be a better person, and your books have helped me to do it. I am chilean. I do not know if you have visited my country, but you must know that here, there are people that know you, and love you, including me.
Bendiciones para usted.

joanne says:

i have so much noise going on in my mind that i dont know how to be at peace with myself,the 1 thing i do feel is i keep having this inner voice telling me to get away,get away from it all,the noise,phones,tv,even people and just be,be by myself some place secluded with nothing to distract me so i can reconnect with my soul,my spirit,myself,

Susan says:

Thank you, Dr, Dyer, for this reminder. Our ego would love nothing else but to have everyone be ecstatic with who we are, but that is not possible, or even probable. Just be . . . this is what the Tao is teaching me. Just be and love myself.
You say it best. “It is none of our business what others are thinking about me.”